Book: The Untethered Soul – Michael A. Singer

There was a period where my mind felt like a constant commentary track.
Every situation came with a story:

  • “This always happens to me.”
  • “They must be thinking this about me.”
  • “If this goes wrong, it means I’m not enough.”

The thoughts weren’t just thoughts; they felt like reality.
They hooked into my emotions, my body, and my decisions.

The Untethered Soul handed me one powerful shift:

You are not the voice in your head.
You are the one who hears it.

This book became a guide for unhooking from old stories and learning to let thoughts and emotions move through, instead of building a home inside me.

The core idea: I am the awareness, not the story

Michael Singer makes a simple but life-changing distinction:

  • There is the voice in your head: the inner commentator, worrier, critic, storyteller.
  • And there is you: the one who is aware of that voice.

Most of us live fused with the first and forget we are actually the second.

Once I started practicing this distinction:

  • Thoughts became events in awareness, not the definition of who I am.
  • Emotions became waves passing through, not permanent truths.
  • Old stories lost some of their authority, because I could see them as stories.

The more I rested as awareness, the less trapped I felt by whatever was moving inside me.

The inner roommate: seeing my mind from the outside

Singer uses the metaphor of the “inner roommate.”
If you took the voice in your head and imagined it as an actual person sitting next to you, saying out loud everything it says internally… you’d probably find them exhausting.

I started to observe that inner roommate:

  • One moment confident, the next anxious
  • One moment full of certainty, the next full of doubt
  • Narrating everything, explaining, judging, predicting

Seeing that clearly helped me ask:

“Why am I treating this voice as a trusted advisor,
when it changes its story every few minutes?”

Instead of obeying it, I began to study it.

This shift from identification to observation is where “unhooking” starts.

Energy, heart, and the art of not closing

Another key teaching:
When life hits something sensitive inside us, we tend to close.

  • Tight chest
  • Contracted stomach
  • Defensive thoughts
  • Old pain rising

Singer’s invitation is counterintuitive and powerful:

When you feel yourself closing,
relax and stay open instead.

This doesn’t mean approving of what’s happening.
It means letting the energy move through your system instead of locking it in.

I began to experiment with this:

  • When something triggered me, instead of armouring up, I would:
    • Notice the tightness in the body
    • Breathe into it
    • Relax the area slightly
    • Allow the feeling to be there without immediately reacting

Often, the intensity would rise, then soften, and pass.
What used to become a story and a spiral became a wave that came and went.

How I practice “unhooking” in daily life

This book is very experiential.
For me, it became a set of practical micro-practices.

1. Watching the voice instead of arguing with it

When the inner commentary starts:

  • “This is going wrong.”
  • “You’re not good enough.”
  • “They don’t respect you.”

My old pattern:

  • Fight with the thought
  • Debate it
  • Try to “fix” it in the mind

My new practice, inspired by the book:

  • Simply notice: “Ah, my inner roommate is talking again.”
  • Let the thought be there without giving it fuel
  • Return attention to something real: the breath, the body, the present action

The goal is not to silence the mind but to stop being dragged by it.

2. Relaxing when I want to contract

When something hits a tender spot (criticism, fear, uncertainty), my system wants to close.

Now I practice:

  • Noticing the contraction (chest, throat, stomach)
  • Breathing slowly and relaxing into the sensation
  • Saying internally:
    • “It’s okay. Let this move.”
    • “I don’t need to close over this.”

I don’t always get it right, but every time I stay open in a moment where I used to close, something old loosens its grip.

3. Letting emotions complete their cycle

Emotions are energy in motion.
The problem is not that they arise; it is that we hold them with stories.

Instead of:

  • Feeling hurt → telling myself a story → reinforcing the hurt

I try to:

  • Feel the raw sensation
  • Drop the storyline
  • Let the feeling peak and dissolve

This has helped me clear a lot of residual emotional “static” that used to linger for hours or days.

How I take notes from The Untethered Soul

This is one of those books I return to, not just read once.
My notes are designed to remind me how to practice, not just what to think.

1. Anchor phrases

I capture key phrases in short, impactful lines, for example:

  • “You are the one who notices the mind, not the mind itself.”
  • “Let go of the tendency to close.”
  • “Relax and release, instead of resist and contract.”
  • “Thoughts and emotions are visitors, not your identity.”

These become like mantras I can recall when I feel hooked.

2. My common “hooks”

I note down specific situations where I get most triggered:

  • Feeling misunderstood
  • Feeling judged or excluded
  • Things not going according to my mental plan
  • Old shame stories resurfacing

For each, I write:

  • What the inner voice usually says
  • How it makes my body feel
  • How I usually react

Then I add:

  • “New response: watch, breathe, relax, don’t close.”

This turns real-life triggers into practice grounds.

3. A simple release script

I keep a short script in my notes:

  1. Notice: “Something got triggered.”
  2. Locate: “Where is it in my body?”
  3. Allow: “Let me feel it without adding story.”
  4. Relax: “Soften around it. Don’t close.”
  5. Return: “Come back to awareness of the moment.”

This reminds me how to walk myself through emotional waves without collapsing into them.

How this changed my inner experience

Since working with The Untethered Soul, I’ve felt:

  • More space inside
    There is now a clear difference between “me” and my mental/emotional activity.
  • Less compulsion to react
    I can feel triggered and still choose not to act from that place.
  • Quicker recovery
    Even when I do get hooked, I notice it sooner and release faster.
  • Deeper peace beneath the noise
    There is a growing sense of a quiet, stable awareness that is untouched by the daily ups and downs.

The outer circumstances may not always change instantly.
But my relationship with them has become lighter, freer, and less controlled by old stories.

Why this belongs on my Growth page

This page is part of my Growth ecosystem because The Untethered Soul goes to the root of all other work:

  • Habits
  • Focus
  • Mindset
  • Energy
  • Relationships

All of them are influenced by who you think you are and how tightly you cling to your stories.

Learning to live as the witness, letting thoughts and emotions pass through instead of owning them, is one of the deepest upgrades to my inner operating system.

If you’re reading this on my Growth site, here’s a simple invitation you can try today:

The next time a strong thought or emotion arises,
instead of asking “Why is this happening?”
try asking:
“Can I just watch this, feel it, and let it pass through
without turning it into a new story about who I am?”

Freedom often starts there.